Swollen testicles behind Beijing star’s early exit

Buster Gonad

Davi

is of course a sensible football journal where one can find a reliable stream of news and views on the Chinese game. Well, as sensible as our eccentric subject matter allows, that is. You’ll forgive us, then, if we indulge ourselves in a news story that was simply too good to pass up.

It started when ‘s man in the north, bcheng, blogged that Beijing Guoan’s latest Brazilian striking import, Davi, was returning to his native land without kicking a ball in anger. The former Nagoya Grampus player had failed a medical, due to acute inflamation, according to bcheng.

However, fellow contributor Smari sent in a translation of a story in the Chinese sports media which shed rather more light on the matter than Davi may have liked – the source of the inflamation was one of his testicles.

According to the story, word on the Gongti terraces was that Davi was a “chubby football player and this disappointed the fans.” So when he went for a routine medical, fans speculated that he might find some way to lose weight as a result of the proceedure.

Excess weight was indeed found to be a problem for Davi, although not in the way the fans may have imagined. A trip to Beijing’s Chaoyang hospital revealed “an enlarged testicle”, and, mysteriously, “other unknown problems,” the report said.

Regarding Davi’s unfortunate condition, the Guoan management said, “The purpose of acquiring Davi is to enhance Guoan’s attacking power; however, accidents are not controllable, but fortunately, because Davi is only on loan to Beijing Guoan, his departure won’t cause any major financial damage to the club.”

Unfortunately, after learning of the above, your correspondent let his purile sense of humour get the better of him. Check out this link if the picture is lost on you.